Being pregnant comes with one side effect they never tell you about! CRAZY weird vivid dreams! Sometimes ill wake up in a panic or sweating as i try to keep myself awake so i don’t fall back into the same dream! Other times ill wake up crying because the dream seemed so real that what i just witnessed really happened to me! Last night was one of those nights! except i woke up feeling like i had accomplished alot and i felt my sense of self had been renewed! It got me thinking…but first let me tell you my dream!
My dream started off with me being at the office i worked in while i was at Capital University. I was sitting in a large circle being stared at by a bunch of High School students!..If you go to Capital you know how inconvenient it is to have high schoolers come visit because our campus is already small and they take up alot of room and crowd the cafeteria!..anyways, My supervisor Teresa asked me to tell them the best piece of advice i had learned in my 4 years there..I thought about it one minute and then i said, “just focus!.” I went on to explain my 4 years and how no matter how many times i wanted to give up and go home, no matter how hard class got or how stressed out i had gotten as long as i focused on the reason i was there in the first place i could keep going. They all stared and then asked questions like, what about relationships and friends? I recounted how i had been in a relationship that tore me down but once i ended that and focused i was able to find my husband and he was my greatest encourager and my friends were also a great deal of help..and as long as you make the right relationships, healthy relationships you can make it through much easier and with a better outlook on life!
I woke up as my husbands alarm rang. Time for work again! When he leaves I usually sleep in until 10am but it seems today will not be one of those days. I started thinking about what i had told all those kids, about my husband and my friends, and “just focus.” I had my birthday 2 days ago but i didnt check my facebook until yesterday and i noticed a video posted by one of my best friends and a few girls that were in my major…they sang me happy birthday and wished me luck with the baby. I didnt realize how meaningful this video was to me until it was over and i wanted to cry! i saw these girls almost everyday but i hadnt realized that they would ever do this for me! It made me feel somewhat important. like i did matter when i was there!
Then i thought about my husband and everything he does for me and how he pushed me through my last year of school. never letting me give up and trying to relieve my stress as much as possible…even though i knew deep down he wanted me to be with him! I don’t know anyone who encouraged me as much as he did…My love for him increased as i realized all the things he still does to love me…and i realized hes never intentionally made me cry, never intentionally hurt me or my feelings. He cares for me like i’m the most precious piece of glass and i don’t know that ill ever deserve the way he loves me. All i know is i hope in my lifetime i can make him feel that way too!
“Just Focus”…my main goal in life was to graduate college so i can have a brighter future. Now that its over i only focus on being a wife and soon to be mother. Then in may i start online classes for my Masters in Counseling…and i wonder what its going to be like..what is my main focus to get me through the next few months? it hasn’t changed! i want a brighter better future but now with more furry than before because i have a husband who supports us all and i want to help him. I have a daughter who will need a lot of things and i want her to be proud of me! I want her to have hope for a future too! I want her to see what her father and i have struggled through and be encouraged that she can accomplish anything she wants!
I want other people to know the same thing. Maybe its not school, or work, it can be anything in life! Just focus on whats ahead. Focus on your dreams, or why you started what you’re doing and just keep going! I don’t care if the world falls apart underneath your feet! Just keep going! I did it and i’m still doing it! You can too!